9. rész

Nurse: "Mrs. Solis, I know you're worried, but it's going to take time."
Gabrielle: "Hmmm? What is?"
Nurse: "You look sad. I assume you're thinking about your mother-in-law."
Gabrielle: "Oh, no."
Nurse: "So, uh, what were you thinking about?"
Gabrielle: "My life. It hasn't turned out like I thought it would."
Nurse: "Oh, honey!"
Gabrielle: "Oh, I know I shouldn't complain. It's just there's something missing, and I don't know what it is. Do you ever feel that way?"
Nurse: "Hmmm, no. When I go home at night, I sleep like a baby, because I know I did something that day that helped people."
Gabrielle: "That must be a nice feeling.
Nurse: "Hmmm, it is. Of course, there are times I wish I didn't have to work so hard. We've got a real nursing shortage here, and they keep cutting our budget, and..."

Betty: "Gabby, Gabby, I can't do it. I cannot walk down a runway in one of these dresses. They all make me look so fat. Please, get someone to take my place, Please!"
Gabrielle: "Betty, listen to me."
Betty: "No, no, please."
Gabrielle: "Listen, Betty! Okay? You're not quitting on me now. We're going to find you a gown. It's going to be black, and slimming, and you're going to look great! I need you to be brave now."
Betty: "Okay."

Julie: "Hey Mom!"
Susan: "Julie, you'll never guess who you got a letter from. Zach. Isn't that weird, him writing you?"
Julie: "Yeah."
Susan: "Well open! Open, open, open! He could have said something about Dana!"
Julie: "I'll read it later."
Susan: "Later? What's wrong with now?"
Julie: "I've got tons of homework, mom."
Susan: "Julie, what's going on?"
Julie: "This isn't the first letter I've gotten from Zach. We've been writing each other the last couple of weeks. Are you mad?"
Susan: "No, it's just when I was your age, my pen pal lived on a farm in Ohio, not in a mental institution. You know, that letter is one notch above prison mail."
Julie: "Zach's not crazy. He's just upset over his mom, and his dad doesn't even seem to care. He just needs a friend."

Tom: "What?"
Lynette: "While you're gone, I'll be here, paying bills and sorting laundry and cooking dinner, so what part of that sounds like a vacation?"
Tom: "Okay, right. You know what? We'll pick up dinner, and, you just take a hot bath, relax. Recharge."

Tom: "Okay, I get it. It's gonna take more than a hot bath to recharge, but, uh, don't forget: I'm here all week!"
Lynette: "Then what?"
Tom: "Then we go back to normal?"
Lynette: "Tom, our last version of normal had me popping pills. Normal is a bad, bad plan."
Tom: "Okay, so we'll put our heads together and we'll come up with a solution."
Lynette: "I think we need to hire a nanny. Full time. "
Tom: "It's just...it's a big, big commitment."
Lynette: "I know. And I know we can't afford it. And I know everything that's happened is my fault. But, if I don't get some help, there's an excellent chance, I will lose my mind."
Tom: "Okay. Well, then we have to make it work."

10. rész

Customer: "Maisy, I’ve always wondered, Nobody knows about your little hobby, do they?"
Maisy: "Mm-mm."
Customer: "Is it hard? Keeping a secret like this?"
Maisy: "Well maybe if it was just my secret. But the way I see it, I keep the secrets of every man who comes to me. And I find that absolutely exhilarating. A few years back, Harold lost his job, and we had to give up our membership at the country club. And then one day one of my club friends asked why she hadn’t seen me around lately, and I told her that we couldn’t afford it anymore. She waved it off like it was nothing. But I saw her...get that look in her eye, that look of...pity."
Customer: "Maybe she was just trying to be nice. Anyway, is that so bad, feeling sorry for someone?"
Maisy: "When they say something, they are being supportive. But when they say nothing, it’s because they think that you’re so far gone you’re never coming back."
Customer: "Gotcha."
Maisy: "Anyway, a couple of months later, I started my little hobby...and the most wonderful thing happened. This woman’s husband became one of my regulars."
Customer: "Wow."

Mike: "Just, watch your hands..."
Julie: "Um, I’m going to eat upstairs. I’ve got a ton of homework."
Susan: "What are you, storing up for winter?"
Julie: "I’m just...really hungry. Oh, I talked to Dad today, and apparently, he and Brandi might break up."
Susan: "Oh, how awful!"
Julie: "Mom, you’re smiling."
Susan: "Am I? Hmm."
Julie: "Anyway, because of all the drama, he can’t take me this weekend, so...I’ll be home after all. Good night!"

Rex: "What are you doing?"
Bree: "Were you with a woman? Did you tell her that you have a wife, or does that hinder your pick-up style?"
Rex: "All right. Even if I was seeing someone, I have every right to. Exploring options is the whole point of being separated!"
Bree: "Options! I’m not a mutual fund, Rex!"
Rex: "Oh, that’s not...Bree, you should get out there. Try and meet someone."
Bree: "Meet someone. I’m raising your children."
Rex: "I am just trying to move on with my life. It is nothing to be ashamed of!"
Bree: "Oh, okay. I tell you what then. Why don’t you just call up your mystery woman and invite her over. I’ll pull out the sofa bed and you can take her right there. Andrew! Danielle! Daddy’s gonna fornicate for us!"
Rex: "Keep your voice down."
Bree: "Why, are you feeling ashamed?"

Gabrielle: "Here. Three weeks in advance."
Yao Lin: "If you don’t mind, can I call your bank?"
Gabrielle: "Yao Lin, don’t be stupid. People don’t become poor overnight."

11. rész

Felicia: "Edie?"
Edie: "Yes."
Felicia: "I'm Felicia Tilman. Martha's sister."
Edie: "Really!"
Felicia: "What's wrong?"
Edie: "Oh nothing's wrong, it's just that Martha always said how alike you two were. I just don't see the family resemblance."
Felicia: "It's there. It just takes a while to become apparent. Do you have the key to her house?"
Edie: "I do. After the police kicked the door in, they put on this temporary lock. Oh, and by the way, the neighbors are coming over at noon. We're going to organize and hand out fliers."
Felicia: "The key?"
Edie: "Oh right. You know, I can only imagine how worried you must be."
Felicia: "I'm not worried, Edie. Martha and I had a very intense bond. We were connected at the most primal level, and a few days ago, I felt this sensation in my soul. That's when it first dawned on me that something had happened to my sister. And when she didn't arrive at my home as scheduled, well, that's when I knew she was dead."
Edie: "Oh, honey, no! You mustn't think like that! Martha's only missing!"
Felicia: "No, Edie, she's dead. But she's my sister, and I'm going to find out exactly what happened to her."
Edie: "Look, Felicia, it's natural to freak out when a loved one is missing."
Felicia: "Loved one? Oh, Edie, let me be clear about this. I hated Martha. She was a wretched pig of a woman and the day she died, this world became a better place."

Lynette: "I don't know how she did it, but Edie managed to make this all about her."
Gabrielle: "She's a talented girl, our Edie."
Susan: "Has anybody talked to Bree? How's Rex doing?"
Lynette: "She's bringing him home from the hospital today."
Susan: "Well, I don't know how he had a heart attack. He was so young."
Gabrielle: "Hey, how creepy is Mrs. Huber's sister?"
Lynette: "I know. The way she was talking about Mrs. Huber, it was like she was already dead."
Gabrielle: "You don't think she is..."
Susan: "Oh no, I'm sure she's fine. We're talking about Mrs. Huber. She's like a roach!"

Danielle: "What do you mean, you're not taking care of him?"
Andrew: "Dad's being released today. He's got to have a place to recuperate."
Bree: "Well, then he can go to a motel because he's not allowed back in my house."
Danielle: "I thought you two were getting along. What happened?"
Bree: "That's - between your father and me."
Andrew: "You're so selfish. You know, I'm so looking forward to the day I get to put you in a nursing home."
Bree: "I'm sorry to disappoint you, Andrew, but my plan is to have an embolism and to die young!"
Andrew: "Yeah, well we're all rooting for you, but you might not be so lucky!"
Bree: "Andrew!"
Andrew: "You want to see how long I can hold a grudge? Go ahead and abandon my father, because I promise you, you'll be sorry."
Bree: "You wouldn't be saying that if you knew what -"
Andrew: "Knew what? Well come on, tell me! Because I'd love to know what my father did that was so awful!"
Bree: "Fine. I will see him through this, but after that, your father can rot in hell for all I care!"

Mr. Hartley: "Gabrielle, it's not my fault that your bank accounts are frozen."
Gabrielle: "I'm not saying it's your fault, I'm just saying, fix it!"
Mr. Hartley: "Well, I wish I could, but the folks at the justice department aren't very sympathetic."
Gabrielle: "I'm running out of money. In a couple of weeks, I'm gonna be screwed."
Yao Lin: "Why don't you hock some of your jewelry? There's a lot of stuff you never wear, and most of it's ugly."
Gabrielle: "Don't you have a toilet to scrub?"

12. rész

Lauren: "Excuse me. You can't do that."
Lynette: "I'm here for the 10 a.m. yoga meditation class."
Lauren: "Unfortunately, the day care center is full."
Lynette: "Yeah, I noticed that, but every time I come here, it’s full."
Lauren: "It’s a popular class, and the other moms come early. Look, all I can tell you is plan ahead next time."
Lynette: "Uh, Lauren? I'm a mother of four. Today I had to get up at five, make lunches, make breakfast, drop the twins off at school, and get across town lugging a baby and a sick child. Telling me to plan ahead is like telling me to sprout wings. And it’s things like being told to plan ahead that make me so crazy, that yoga is the only thing that relaxes me, except I show up here, and I can't get in, and you tell me to plan ahead. It’s a vicious cycle. See how that works?"
Lauren: "I get it, but if I broke the rules for you, I'd have to break them for the other moms too, and then the moms who actually follow the rules would get all pissed at me, and I'd have to get pissy right back, and before you know it, I don't have time to read my magazine. See how that works?"
Lynette: "I hope someday, you have lots of children."

Carlos: "It transmits to this. My electronic monitoring device. didn't the lawyer tell you?"
Gabrielle: "Tell me what?"
Carlos: "I'm on house arrest. It's a condition of my bail."
Gabrielle: "Uh, no! No, he neglected to tell me that."
Carlos: "Yeah, if I move more than a hundred feet from that telephone, an alarm sounds. If I keep going, it transmits a signal to the FBI, and I'm back in jail."
Gabrielle: "But, how are you gonna work?"
Carlos: "I can't. I can't do anything."
Gabrielle: "Uh, no! No, no! That’s unreasonable. What do they expect us to do for money?"
Carlos: "The lawyer's working on unfreezing the accounts. In the meantime, I mean, haven't you been working modeling jobs?"
Gabrielle: "Carlos, this is not like New York where I made thousands of dollars a day modeling haute couture. I'm doing boat shows. I spend eight hours a day doing this!"

Bree: "I mean, what are the odds? First Mary Alice and then Mrs. Huber? I mean, it’s shocking."
Gabrielle: "Yeah, but this is different. Someone was actually murdered on our street."
Lynette: "I remember talking to her right before she disappeared."
Susan: "You did? What'd you talk about?"
Lynette: "Oh, actually, she yelled at me for not bringing my garbage cans in."
Bree: "I'm gonna miss her."

Bree: "Okay. Now when you're firing a semi-automatic, you want the web of your hand all the way up against the edge of the back strap."
George: "What is that perfume you're wearing?"
Bree: "Uh, I'm not wearing perfume."
George: "Are you sure? Because you smell amazing?"
Bree: "Oh, I was making macaroons before I left the house."
Bree: "Okay, now I want you to hold the gun like you're holding a beautiful white dove. Hold it firmly enough that it can't get away, but not so firmly that you can kill it. Got it?"
George (grinning): "I think so."
Bree:" Okay, now all you have to do is take a deep breath..."

13. rész

Julie: "Mom!"
Susan: "What is going on here? Were you just kissing my daughter?"
Zach: "I...uh...a little."
Susan: "What are you thinking?"
Julie: "Mom, calm down."
Susan: "She’s only fourteen!"
Zach: "Yeah, I should, I should probably be going."
Susan: "You think?"

Bob Rowland: "Um, we, uh, came to talk to you about our son."
Gabrielle: "I haven’t seen John in weeks. He’s called and left messages, but I haven’t returned any. It’s over, I swear."
Helen Rowland: "We’re not here about that. We need you to do something for us."
Gabrielle: "Oh, okay."
Bob Rowland: "John surprised us last night when he announced he was turning down his college scholarship."
Helen Rowland: "Instead, he’s decided to expand his gardening business. Mow lawns full time."
Gabrielle: "Well, why, uh, why would he do that?"
Helen Rowland: "We don’t know why. Do you think we’d be talking to you if we did?"
Bob Rowland: "You’ll have to forgive my wife. She’s still upset over the whole, um..."
Helen Rowland: "Statutory rape thing."
Bob Rowland: "Helen!"
Gabrielle: "What do you want me to do?"
Bob Rowland: "He’s refusing to talk to us. If you could just convince him that he’s making a big mistake..."
Gabrielle: "John and I made a clean break. I think it’s best if we just keep our distance."
Bob Rowland: "Please. Last week he turned eighteen and moved out of the house. We’re stuck."
Gabrielle: "I'm sorry. I, I’m so sorry, I just can’t handle this right now. I have my own personal things going on. My life is falling apart."
Helen Rowland: "I don’t care."
Bob Rowland: "Helen."
Helen Rowland: "We haven’t gone to the police about what you did. That can easily change."
Gabrielle: "I’ll see what I can do."
Helen Rowland: "Good."

Tom: "Look who I found wandering around the airport!"
Lynette: "Hey, Rodney!"
Tom: "Is Parker back up on the roof?"
Lynette: "Yep."
Tom: "See if he can find that frisbee while he’s up there."
Lynette: "Yeah, I’m gonna get right on that."
Rodney: "Oh! How’s my favorite girl?"

Paul: "Mm-hmm. We‘ll be moving at the end of the month."
Zach: "You sold the house?"
Paul: "Zach..."
Zach: "Why didn’t you tell me about this?"
Paul: "I wanted to wait until it was official."
Zach: "But you told me when I got back from Silvercrest that you’d reconsidered. You lied to me."
Paul: "I think you need to take your medicine."
Zach: "What, you think pumping me full of drugs is gonna keep me quiet?"
Paul: "Upstairs, now!"
Zach: "You don’t care about me, and you didn’t care about mom! You know what? I wish she had shot you instead!"

Lynette: "Hi."
Rodney: "Hi. I thought you guys were at practice."
Lynette: "Oh, Parker, um, forgot his catcher’s mitt."
Rodney: "Uh, Lynette, this is Lois McDaniel. She’s one of my major suppliers in the area. She’s a paper products manufacturer."
Lynette: "Oh."

Bree: "It’s time for your heart medication."
Rex: "You know I meant what I said at that meeting. I will fire my lawyer tomorrow, just give me the word."
Bree: "Sweetie, I think it’s too late."
Rex: "Why?"
Bree: "Because you were unfaithful."
Rex: "But, if you could find a way to forgive me, if we could find a way to be happy, wouldn’t you want that?"
Bree (exhales): "You know what I really truly want? Revenge. I mean, if somehow we could level the playing field, then, um, maybe I could find a way to come back."
Rex (laughs): "So what does that mean? You want to have an affair?"

Bree: "It was my first week in college, and I went to a meeting of the young Republicans where Rex gave a speech, and I went up to him afterward and introduced myself, and I told him that I agreed with his stance on the death penalty. He took me out to a diner, and we, uh, stayed up till two in the morning talking about big government, gun control and illegal immigration. Ah. It was just--it was just such a magical night, and I knew, by the time he got me back to my dorm, that one day I was going to be Mrs. Rex Van de Kamp."
George: "Wow."
Bree: "And even now, you know, after the betrayal, I, I know that we’re supposed to be together. But I don’t know how I can be with someone I don't trust."
George: "So, what are you gonna do?"
Bree: "That I don’t know. What do you think I should do?"
George: "You’re asking me?"
Bree: "Oh, I should not have done that. I am..."
George: "No, no. It’s okay."
Bree: "No George, it’s not okay. It was insensitive. I know how you feel about me, and I..."
George: "Bree, I want to help."
Bree: "Thank you."
George: "So, does he love you?"
Bree: "Yes."
George: "Is he a good person?"
Bree: "Aside from the adultery, yes."
George: "Then it’s easy. If I could get a good person to love me, I would find a way to forgive them."
Bree: "You are such a special man, George Williams. And you deserve such a special woman."
George: "I think so."

Lynette: "Where are you going?"
Rodney: "Oh, I thought I’d just eat this in my room."
Lynette: "You know, the house isn’t that big, Rodney. You’re going to have to stop avoiding me."
Rodney: "Okay, okay. Lois isn’t a supplier."
Lynette (sarcastic emphasis): "Really..."
Rodney: "And I want to apologize. I, I thought you and the kids were going to be gone all afternoon. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"
Lynette: "Well, for starters, you can wipe that disgusting smirk off your face."
Rodney: "Lynette!"
Lynette: "How could you do something like this to Alison?"
Rodney: "I don’t know. I don't know, it happens a little bit at a time. Years go by, the kids burn you out, I’m on the road so much, we just drifted apart. It’s complicated."
Lynette: "It’s not complicated. It’s completely irresponsible."
Rodney: "For years, I have stayed married to a woman that I don’t love because I made a vow to God. So don’t talk to me about responsibilities!"
Lynette: "But your take on this is you’re the victim?"
Rodney: "Oh, I can see that, uh, we’re just going to have to agree to disagree."

Gabrielle: "Please, calm down!"
John: "It just doesn’t make any sense. Okay, you love me, I know you love me!"
Gabrielle: "Love is not enough. Where would we live, here with your roommates? The only decoration in the bathroom is a bong!"
John: "We could get our own place!"
Gabrielle: "How? You’re barely making minimum wage!"
John: "Okay, sure. We’d be poor at first, but we’d be happy."
Gabrielle: "I’ve tried poor but happy. Guess what. It wasn’t that happy."
John: "Mr. Solis is going to jail. You want to stick around for that?"
Gabrielle: "I don’t know. You know, every once in a while, even I want to do the right thing."
John: "Mrs. Solis, I love you so much! Doesn’t that mean anything to you?"
Gabrielle: "Honestly, no. John, you’re a toy. A sweet, dumb toy, so you might as well go to college, because you and me, no future!"

14. rész

Lynette: "So this is it! This is the secret that Mary Alice was trying to protect"
Bree: "Look at the guilt that she must’ve lived with."
Gabrielle: "You know, I never thought I’d say this but I kind of feel sorry for Paul."
Susan: "I wish I could. I still feel like something’s not right."
Gabrielle: "What do you mean?"
Susan: "Well, we’ve all been in their house. Have you ever seen a picture of another kid there? I mean, why keep Dana’s baby blanket and throw out all the photos?"
Lynette: "That’s a good point."
Susan: "We’ve never answered why Mary Alice referred to herself as Angela in that therapy session."
Bree: "All I know is this: Mary Alice loved Zach more than anything in the world. When you love a child that much..."
Lynette: "You’re capable of doing all sorts of things."
Bree: "Yeah."

Gabrielle: "What did you say?"
Yao Lin: "Nothing."
Gabrielle: "Are you gonna clean that spot?"
Yao Lin: "Which one?"
Gabrielle: "The one I told you to clean."
Yao Lin: "I'll get to it."
Gabrielle: "Clean it now."
Yao Lin: "Why?"
Gabrielle: "Because I said so."
Yao Lin: "Okay, but you’ve got to say please."
Gabrielle: "Fine. Please."

Bree: "Rex and I are hosting a dinner party for ten next week. We’re using our best china and serving duck."
Dr. Goldfine: "So, you and Rex are a couple again?"
Bree: "Yes. You know that’s one of the things I hated most about our separation. Not being able to throw dinner parties. There’s just something so civilized and elegant about them, don’t you think?"
Dr. Goldfine: "I take it you’ve resolved your feelings about his infidelity?"
Bree: "Let’s just say that I put them in an imaginary box and don’t plan on looking at them for a while."
Dr. Goldfine: "Do you think that’s the healthiest way to achieve a reconciliation?"
Bree: "Well, it won't be easy at first. There’ll be a lot of forced smiles and perfunctory love making, but after a few decades whiz by I’m sure I’ll find a way to forgive him."
Dr. Goldfine: "Well, as long as you have a plan."
Bree: "I do want to forgive him Doctor Goldfine, but, there’s something he’s still not telling me."
Dr. Goldfine: "Really?"
Bree: "I think it has something to do with why he had the affair."
Dr. Goldfine: "Have you confronted him?"
Bree: "Once, and you should’ve seen the look in his eyes. He was terrified that I’d figure it out. You know what it is, don’t you?"
Dr. Goldfine: "Bree, I can't discuss other patients."
Bree: "I realize that. This thing that he’s hiding, is it bad?"

Lynette: "Hey, what do you think you are doing? Get out of here."
Mrs. McCluskey: "Your little criminals snuck into my house and stole my wall clock."
Lynette: "What?"
Mrs. McCluskey: "It was a hand-painted purple and white wall clock. My son made it."
Lynette: "Are you sure you didn’t misplace it? You’re getting up there in years, no offense, but you probably forget where you put things."
Mrs. McCluskey: "No offense, but you should be sterilized."
Lynette: "Look, my boys do not break into people's houses. Sure, they may have stolen your flower pot, but you know they apologized for that."
Mrs. McCluskey: "They wrote a note. That’s the coward's way out. They should’ve come over and apologized in person."
Lynette: "You know what? This has been fun but now - "
Mrs. McCluskey: "You let those boys run wild! Toys all over the yard, there’s bikes laying out in the street. It’s a disgrace."
Lynette: "Get out of my house!"
Mrs. McCluskey: "Those boys would’ve been better off raised by wolves. God knows they would’ve been cleaner."

Bree: "Valentine's Day is tomorrow."
Rex: "I know. I already bought your gifts."
Bree: "Roses and English toffee?"
Rex: "Mmm hmm. Just like always."
Bree: "Yes. And I suppose we’ll make love tomorrow night, too."
Rex: "That is our little tradition."
Bree: "Good. I’m looking forward to it. Are you looking forward to it?"
Rex: "What?"
Bree: "Well, it’s just that I know that I don’t please you sexually, so I was wondering if you really were looking forward to being with me."
Rex: "Oh, for god's sake."
Bree: "I’m sorry, Rex. I thought I could pretend that this doesn’t upset me anymore, but I can't."
Rex: "Please don’t do this."
Bree: "You had an affair. You went to another woman for sex to give you something I couldn’t. At least have the decency to tell me what that something is."
Rex: "Bree, I can’t."
Bree: "Why not? Rex, please tell me. Let me prove to you how much I love you."
Rex: "I like to be dominated."
Bree: "Huh?"
Rex: "Sexually."
Bree: "Huh?"
Rex: "Never mind."
Bree: "Rex, please, I want to understand."

Susan: "Mike wants babies."
Julie: "What?"
Susan: "He wants to have kids, and he had that look that men get that says I’m ready to procreate, point me to the nearest cervix."
Julie: "And I take it this is a problem?"
Susan: "Oh, I can’t have another baby. I mean I’m so grateful I had you, you know I don’t regret a minute of that, but I found it to be completely overwhelming. Sometimes I even wonder how I got through it."
Julie: "You and me both. So, have you told Mike how you feel?"
Susan: "Oh, I can’t tell him. This could be a deal breaker. Julie I really love him. I don’t want to lose him."
Julie: "Maybe you’re overreacting. I bet he’d rather have you then a baby."
Susan: "What if he doesn’t?"
Julie: "Then that’s something you need to know."

Siesta King: "What is this?"
Gabrielle: "People keep coming and talking to me asking me questions. That is not my job."
Siesta King: "Well. You don’t have to be rude."
Gabrielle: "I am not a mattress sales person."
Siesta King: "Is there something wrong with being a mattress sales person? Is it beneath you or something?"
Gabrielle: "Honestly, yes. I am a model."
Siesta King: "You know what, your agent warned me that you were a diva, and he was right. You won’t talk to the customers, you bitch about the coffee, and you wouldn’t even chip in for Hazel’s birthday cake."
Gabrielle: "I just met the woman today."
Siesta King: "That didn’t stop you from havin' a piece. I’m sorry, but I, I don’t want someone around my store that's not a team player."
Gabrielle: "Oh no, no, no, wait, wait."
Siesta King: "You’re fired, princess."
Gabrielle: "No!"

Gabrielle: "Oh, right. Oh, here. Here you go. Thank you. Come again."
Yao Lin: "Mrs. Solis?"
Gabrielle: "Oh, god."
Yao Lin: "Hello."
Gabrielle: "Hello, Yao Lin. How are you?"
Yao Lin: "Good. Very good. "
Gabrielle: "I wanted to call you. I felt terrible about how we left things."
Yao Lin: "I need lipstick."
Gabrielle: "Okay but - "
Yao Lin: "Now."

Lynette: "I’m not going over there."
Tom: "Yes, you are."
Lynette: "No. I can deal with the humiliation of going around the neighborhood returning everything the boys stole, but please don’t make me apologize to that woman."
Tom: "This is what it means to be a good neighbor, finding ways of getting along instead of, you know, hurling an egg at them."
Lynette: "But why do I have to apologize? Why don’t we just go ‘oh, now we’re even’ and we'll start from scratch."
Tom: "Okay if the, uh, being a pleasant human being argument doesn’t fly with you, we’ll try a self preservation, what if she wakes up in the middle of the night, the house is on fire, you don’t want her to call 911?"
Lynette: "If our house catches fire I guarantee you, she's the one that started it."
Tom: "My point is, the day will come when we need her help and I don’t want her not to help us just because of some silly feud."
Lynette: "Fine, I’ll do it."
Tom: "Wow, thank you."
Lynette: "You know whoever came up with the motto love thy neighbor clearly lived nowhere near Karen McCluskey."
Tom: "Yes, well, on Valentine’s Day the only motto that really matters is, you know, love thy husband."
Lynette: "Really, I, I recall no such motto."

Susan: "What?"
Mike: "I've got to go."
Susan: "What?"
Mike: "I’m sorry."
Susan: "I don’t believe this. You’re leaving without even trying to talk me into having your baby? I mean how do you know I wouldn't cave. I always cave."

15. rész

Bree: "No."
Rex: "Sorry."
Bree: "Andrew is still a child."
Rex: "He's sixteen. It's not unheard of."
Bree: "Honey, you have to talk to him."
Rex: "And tell him what?"
Bree: "Tell him that we found his condom and that he is forbidden from - y'know."
Rex: "I can absolutely tell him that we think he's too young, but I don't think it's gonna do any good."
Bree: "Well, then the least we can do is go search his room and if we find any more of these, we'll confiscate them."
Rex: "And that will accomplish what?"
Bree: "Well, if we take away his condoms, maybe--"
Rex: "He's a teenage boy. We could take away his penis. He'd still try to have sex."
Bree: "Well, we can't put it back in his room. I mean that would be like we're condoning him having pre-marital sex."
Rex: "Bree, let me put this another way. Do you want to become a grandmother?"

Gabrielle: "He was shot? How could you not tell us about this?"
Susan: "He was embarrassed. He said it was an accident. Oh, don't look at me like that. Accidents happen."
Gabrielle: "We know that you want to trust Mike, but he had a dead woman's jewelry in his garage."
Susan: "Now did he? We don't know that for sure. All we know is that Lynette's kids turned up with it."
Bree: "So what are you saying, that the twins murdered Martha?"
Lynette: "Well, I wouldn't put it past them."
Susan: "I'm saying that is about as likely as Mike having done it. He's a good guy. I know him. I mean, he's, he's Mike."
Lynette: "Honestly, I don't think Mike did it either, but if we don't call, we're guilty of withholding evidence."
Bree: "Well, you know what? If he is innocent, this should be a simple matter to clear up."
Gabrielle: "But, we will do whatever you want us to do."
Susan: "Okay, call."
Bree: "So should I just dial nine one one?"
Gabrielle: "Well, it's not really an emergency."
Lynette: "It was a murder."
Bree: "Well, not recently, and I'd prefer not to tie up the line."
Susan: "Will you just call?"

Justin: "Hey, Mrs. Solis."
Gabrielle: "I'm sorry. Do I know you?"
Justin: "Yeah, I'm Justin. John's roommate? I've been waiting forever for you to show up."
Gabrielle: "Really, why?"
Justin: "I want to do you a favor."
Gabrielle: "What kind of favor?"
Justin: "Well, John says that you can't exactly afford a gardener right now, and I told him I'd be happy to do it. For free."
Gabrielle: "You want to mow my lawn for free?"
Justin: "Mow your lawn, water your flowers, trim your bushes. I could do everything John did for you."
Gabrielle: "That's very generous of you, but I don't think so."
Justin: "Why?"
Gabrielle: "Because my husband is home quite a lot these days. If any bush needs trimming, he takes care of it."
Justin: "Well, this is a very beautiful yard. I'm sure it could use a little extra attention."
Gabrielle: "I'm flattered but no thank you."

Tom: "Hey guys, this isn't a hockey rink. Can you take it outside?"
Lynette: "How was your day?"
Tom: "Hey. I didn't get the V.P. gig."
Lynette: "Oh, Tom, I'm so sorry."
Tom: "It just doesn't make any sense to me. I mean, I'm Peterson's go-to guy, so how does Tim Doogan, the biggest blow-hard in the office get promoted to vice president over me?"
Lynette: "I thought you liked Tim Doogan."
Tom: "I do. I just, I just, I really wanted that promotion. Boys, can you please take the Stanley Cup Finals outside?"

Andrew: "So, get this. Zach Young is throwing a pool party Saturday night and he sent out a bunch of formal invitations complete with fancy lettering."
Danielle: "I'm surprised he didn't spritz them with after shave."
Bree: "What is wrong with nice invitations?"
Andrew: "Mom, it's a pool party."
Danielle: "Why couldn't he've just pass out fliers in the quad?"
Andrew: "Because he's genetically incapable of being cool?"
Rex: "So, uh, you going?"
Andrew: "Maybe. I mean, um, Lisa and Justin and some of the guys thought it'd be fun to swim. We can always bail if it's as lame as we think it's gonna be."
Bree: "Is Lisa your friend with the pierced navel?"
Andrew: "Yeah."
Bree: "You've been spending a lot of time together lately, haven't you?"
Andrew: "I guess."
Bree: "Oh, uh, Andrew, I'm gonna want you home by eleven on Saturday."
Andrew: "Eleven? Mom, it's not even a school night."
Rex: "Bree, a curfew isn't gonna do any good."
Bree: "You may be able to abdicate all your parental responsibility but I cannot."
Andrew: "What, what's going on here? Would this have to do with the condom you left in my room?"
Bree: "As a matter of fact it does, and just so we're clear, if you get Lisa pregnant, you will marry her."

Bree: "So obviously we need to talk."
Danielle: "I'm still a virgin if that's what you want to know."
Bree: "Well, good. But why on earth would you need a condom?"
Danielle: "Because I'm planning on having sex and I don't want to get pregnant."
Bree: "Danielle, you are president of the Abstinence Club."
Danielle: "I wasn't planning on running for a second term."
Bree: "Who were you planning on having sex with?"
Danielle: "John."
Bree: "John Rowland? I thought you broke up with him."
Danielle: "No, he broke up with me. And you want to know why? Because I wouldn't do it."
Bree: "Well, if that's the type of boy he is, then good riddance."
Danielle: "Mom, every boy at my school is that type of boy. And besides, it's different with John. I love him."
Bree: "Oh, sweetheart, just because you give a boy sex doesn't mean you'll get love in return."
Danielle: "So maybe I'm being stupid. What's the big deal? It's just sex."
Bree: "Honey, I am looking out for your happiness. Now, I understand what it's like to be young and feel urges, but I waited until I got married, as did your father, and it was so much better."
Danielle: "Daddy ended up cheating on you."
Bree: "Yes. Well -"
Danielle: "And every since he moved back in, you've been miserable."
Bree: "Why would you say that?"
Danielle: "The walls between our bedrooms are paper thin. I hear more stuff than I probably should."
Bree: "Oh."
Danielle: "Look, mom, I love you a lot but you really are the last person to ever give anyone advice about sex and happiness."

Gabrielle: "Have you seen these? Five more past due notices."
Carlos: "Don't worry. I'm handling it."
Gabrielle: "How? How are you handling it?"
Carlos: "Can I please finish my sandwich?"
Gabrielle: "Have you seen our checking account lately? We're broke. And then we have the mortgage payment coming up. We have property taxes.."
Carlos: "Gabby, it's going to be okay."
Gabrielle: "No, it's not. We are seriously screwed, and I am freaking out that you're not freaking out."
Carlos: "Look, things will turn around."
Gabrielle: "When?"
Carlos: "I don't know when, but we're lucky people, and we'll be lucky again."
Gabrielle: "What is that?"
Carlos: "It's the lawnmower. We got a new gardener today. It's not going to cost us a cent. The kid's a friend of John's."
Gabrielle: "Carlos--"
Carlos: "And he said that he'd do the lawn for free. Can you believe it? We are lucky people."

Lynette: "Aw, jeez. (she removes the tweezers) It looks like a sesame seed."
Twin: "That's cool."
Lynette: "Yeah, well, there's lots more where that came from."
Tom: "No, I'm -- I'm so sorry. He must be so disappointed. But, look, we'll get all the boys together once Topher's back on his feet. Bye."
Lynette: "What'd Tammy want?"
Tom: "She's canceling Topher's birthday party on Sunday. He's come down with the measles, so..."
Twin: "Aww!"
Lynette: "Measles, huh?"
Tom: "Yeah. What?"
Lynette: "Tammy Brennan spent a fortune on Topher's party. She'd call in specialists from Switzerland before she'd let it be canceled."
Tom: "Okay. Why would Tammy lie to us?"
Lynette: "Because she saw Porter scratching his head at school. They all did, and now word's getting around."
Tom: "Why is everything a conspiracy theory with you? I mean, lots of kids get lice. It's not that big a deal."
Lynette: "Well, it is for the rich bee-eye-tee-see-atch's..."

Felicia: "Hello."
Paul: "Felicia."
Edie: "Oh, hi, Felicia."
Felicia: "Edie, I found this in my sister's things. It has your name on it."
Edie (gasps): "My necklace. Oh, you know...I lent this to Martha three months ago, and she said that it went down the drain. Oh, I miss how we used to steal things from one another."
Paul: "So, Felicia. I heard they have a suspect in your sister's murder. Mike Delfino."
Felicia: "Oh, he didn't kill her."
Paul: "But they found her jewelry in his garage."
Felicia: "But his fingerprints weren't on any of it."
Paul: "Well, that just means he wore gloves."
Felicia: "So, he's smart enough to use gloves, but he leaves her blood-spattered jewelry lying around for anyone to find? Please. Is that what you'd do if you killed someone?"
Paul: "I don't know what goes through the mind of a murderer. I'm just saying I wouldn't trust him if I were you."

Gabrielle: "Ahem. Sorry."
Edie: "That's okay. I was just about to give a Maisy Gibbons update."
Lynette: "Guys, we should be ashamed of ourselves for reveling in that woman's misery. That being said, Edie, please continue."
Edie: "Well, I hear from a very reliable source that Maisy's gonna cut a deal with the prosecution. Apparently, she has some high-profile johns, and the D.A.'s looking for a second term."
Lynette: "I don't get it. I don't get who would pay Maisy for sex."
Gabrielle: "Obviously, someone who's not getting it at home."
Edie: "So, the upshot is Maisy is going to turn over her little black book with all of her clients' names."
Lynette: "Really."
Edie: "Yep. I mean, can you imagine the fallout when this goes public? Ooh, blood on the walls."
Gabrielle: "I'm all in."
Lynette: "I'll call. Bree? "
Bree: "Uh, what just happened?"
Lynette: "The stakes were raised."
Bree: "Yes, yes, they were. I fold."

Lynette: "No, I don't. You're going to have to give me a name."
Nurse Abigail: "Mrs. Scavo --"
Lynette: "Here's the thing. Acting like parents won't assign blame is like pretending they don't keep score at pee-wee league games. It's human nature. If you don't give the moms someone to blame, they'll pick a scapegoat. I can't let my boys be the scapegoat."
Nurse Abigail: "Please don't put me in this position."
Lynette: "I'm begging you. They've already been uninvited from a birthday party, a really big birthday party with a bouncy house and a hot dog stand and a clown."
Nurse Abigail: "I wish I could help you, but --"
Lynette: "For god's sakes, there's gonna be a magician. Tammy Brennan went all out."
Nurse Abigail: "Tammy Brennan? Topher's mother?"
Lynette: "Yes."
Nurse Abigail: "Well, isn't that interesting. Have a seat."

Maisy: "So...what brings you here?"
Bree: "I need a favor."
Maisy: "I thought as much."
Bree: "I heard that there is a, um, little black book with the names of your clients in it."
Maisy: "There is."
Bree: "I was wondering if, perhaps, you could remove Rex's name from that little book."
Maisy: "Wow, that's a big favor. Those muffins better be really good."
Bree: "I have some money that I've been putting aside for emergencies. It can be all yours if you just..."
Maisy: "Keep my mouth shut?"
Bree: "Continue to be discreet."
Maisy: "Gosh. I don't know."
Bree: "I don't think it's asking that much. All you need to do is remove one little name."
Maisy: "But if I do it for you, then I have to do it for all the other wives. That wouldn't be fair, now, would it?"
Bree: "Maisy, please. I mean, we used to be good friends."
Maisy: "Ah. Where were you when Harold lost his job a year ago, huh? Did you stop by to see if there was anything that you could do? Did you bring a big basket of baked goods when you knew we couldn't even pay our bills? If you did, those displays of friendship seem to have slipped my mind."
Bree: "Maisy, I didn't mention it when you were having financial troubles because I thought it would embarrass you."
Maisy: "Yes, I would have been embarrassed, but it would have been a whole lot better than the silence."
Bree: "I have fourteen thousand dollars in that account. It can all be yours."
Maisy: "I'm not interested. But you do get credit for one thing. You came to visit me, even if it was for an ulterior motive. None of the other girls from the club even bothered. I've been abandoned. Guess that's what happens when you become the town whore."
Bree: "Oh, sweetie. They didn't abandon you because you're a whore. They abandoned you because you weren't all that nice to begin with."

Edie: "Ooh."
Susan: "I was on vacation. Made sense at the time. Okay, not to be rude, but is there a reason you're here?"
Edie: "Look, I'm feeling badly about what you're going through with Mike. And don't worry. I'm not going to date him."
Susan: "Doesn't matter anymore."
Edie: "Well, don't get me wrong. I still have every intention of sleeping with him. Some mountains are just meant to be climbed."
Susan: "I got to learn to keep my doors locked."
Edie: "How long have you been sitting here?"
Susan: "I don't know. Five minutes, give or take three hours."
Edie: "That's it. Get up. Get dressed."
Susan: "Why?"
Edie: "Beause you're coming with me. It's time to get wasted. Happy hour started forty-five minutes ago."
Susan: "Why would I go anywhere with you?"
Edie: "Because that's what normal women do when they get depressed. They put on short skirts, they go to bars with their girlfriends, maybe have one too many and then make out with some strange man in the back of a dark alley."
Susan: "Wow."
Edie: "Oh, come on. It'll be fun, I swear. Come on. Come on."

Edie: "Paul."
Paul: "Aah! Edie. God, you scared me."
Edie: "I'm sorry. I see that you, uh, made it back from Mount Pleasant."
Paul: "Yes. What -- what are you doing here?"
Edie: "Well, I came by to bring you your key. I was just about to leave you a note."
Paul: "You're returning my key at 11:30 at night. What the hell's going on here?"
Edie: "You're right. We're too old to be playing games."
Paul: "What?"
Edie: "My note was gonna tell you that I, uh...I-I wasn't kidding this afternoon. I really would like to keep a key to your place -- to use if the...mood strikes me."